Slow Cooker Vegetarian Chili

A nourishing, warm bowl of vegetarian chili is the perfect pick-me-up on a chilly day! A blend of beans packs a protein punch, while onion, corn, and tomatoes add even more nutrients. Top with sour cream and cheese for an unbeatable meal!


When I was younger, I always thought my family was a little bit... off. Now, there are numerous viable reasons for this suspicion:

  • We would always pair applesauce, mac n' cheese, and tuna fish together as a 'meal' (wait what why did this seem normal);
  • My dad wouldn't let me have dessert unless I had done a sheet of math problems, front and back;
  • Pancakes were served rolled up with strawberry jelly, never with syrup (which I later learned was a Hungarian thing);
  • And my mom was never in charge of cooking that night's meal - only my dad was allowed in the kitchen

I can hear you now: YEAH! Abolish gender roles! More men in the kitchen! They can clean and give birth and feel constantly self-conscious, while they're at it!, no. Sadly, my mom just sucks at cooking, so my dad was only looking out for the health and well-being of my brother and I. But you better believe that the second I had enough coordination to wield a knife, my dad had me in the kitchen, training me to take over his spot as household chef.

The first meal I learned to make was this chili! With a few changes:
- We used to use chili seasoning out of a packet that had all these nasty hydrogenated oils, but now you can make your own!
- My dad always added ground beef to the chili. I effing hate ground beef. Just beans, plz.
- This one is made in the slow cooker, so you can set it and forget it!

Are you ready to relive my childhood?? 3.. 2.. 1...

Slow Cooker Vegetarian Chili


To make this chili, you will need:
- 1.5 T cumin
- 1.5 T chili powder
- 1/4 t oregano
- 1/2 t cayenne
- 1/2 t garlic
- 1 t salt
- 1/2 t black pepper
- 15 oz can tomato sauce
- 14.5 oz can diced tomatoes with chilis
- 4 oz can green chilis
- 15 oz can kidney beans, drained
- 15 oz can black beans, drained
- 16 oz bag corn, frozen
- 1 onion

First things first! In a small bowl, measure out your seasonings and stir them together. Set aside.


Next, time to get going with the slow cooker! Dump in your beans, tomatoes, tomato sauce, chilis, and corn. Dice the onion finely and add to the mixture. Finally, add your spice mixture. Stir thoroughly, then set your slow cooker either to low for 10 hours or high for 6 hours.


That's it! That's literally it. SO easy. Once it's ready, serve with sour cream, cheese, and maybe a good-sized slice of cornbread, and relish in the fact that you are not eating some bizarre combination of mac and cheese, tuna, and applesauce.

And that you don't roll your pancakes.

...unless you do - in which case, want to come to weird-family therapy with me?