Slow Cooker Pumpkin Oatmeal

Steel-cut oats are cooked low and slow in the slow cooker while you sleep, so you wake up to a delightful breakfast to accompany your mug of coffee. Add almond milk, pumpkin, and naturally sweet agave and spices, and you have a hearty, healthy breakfast!


Ok, ok, I get it, guys. I've been using a lot of pumpkin lately. I may be, as the proverbial *they* call it, BASIC.

BUT. I must say, judgmental folk, that I have not once let a pumpkin spice latté pass through these lips*. I do not own a single pair of UGG boots**. And never, EVER, have I worn a flash tat or flower crown***. Blasphemy. I just really love my daily dose of fall-themed Vitamin A, capiche? Can't a girl enjoy her winter squash without being stereotyped?? LET ME LIVE!

*In the past 5 or 3 or maybe 2 years
**I definitely own the moccasins, though, and BOY is that shit comfy
***LOL this one's just a straight up lie I did all that this month oops sorry I'm not


Thus, when my new roommate Osana brought a crockpot into our home recently, my brain began to spin. I've been hesitant to use steel-cut oats before because they take SO DAMN LONG to cook, and usually when I'm hungry I'm HANGRY, and I'm like FEED ME RIGHT NOW BITCH!!! JESSE HUNGRY JESSE SMASH!!

I'm really, really unsure why I'm single.

Oh, right... because all the boys who message me sound a little something like this. Who's Nicole, though?!

Oh, right... because all the boys who message me sound a little something like this. Who's Nicole, though?!

But, with this crockpot, all my problems have vanished! I can put a bunch of shit in it at night, turn it on, and let it work its voodoo magic overnight! The possibilities are endless!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a flash tat to apply.

I mean, ummmm, a plaid flannel to buy - oh fuck - I give up - MAKE THIS NOW!


Slow Cooker Pumpkin Oatmeal

To make this oatmeal, you will need:
- 2.5 cups water
- 1.5 cups almond milk (I used unsweetened vanilla)
- 1 cup steel-cut oatmeal (not quick cooking)
- 1 cup pumpkin puree
- 1.5 t vanilla extract
- 3/4 t pumpkin pie spice
- 1/4 t cinnamon
- 1/4 t ginger
- Pinch salt
- 3 T agave nectar
- Garnishes: dried cranberries, walnuts, chia seeds, almond milk, etc.


Now, guys. This is probably the easiest recipe I've ever posted here on Scones. The beauty of crockpot recipes is that you just throw everything in the pot together, set it, and let it do its thang! So that's exactly what you'll do here - toss together the oats, water, milk, pumpkin, vanilla, agave, and spices, give it a good stir, and set your crockpot on medium for 7 hours.


When you wake up in the morning, it probably has separated. Never fear! Give it a good stir, and you'll have four servings of luscious, healthy oats waiting for you. Serve a crowd, or pack it up in tupperware for the week!

And you can't forget the garnishes! I topped mine with walnuts (healthy Omega-3 fats!), dried cranberries (antioxidants!), and some more almond milk, but the world is your oyster! (But please don't top your oats with oysters. That would be super weird. I don't like that). Alongside a strong cup of coffee, you'll be unstoppable.


Coffee not optional.