'Twas the day after Foxfield, and all through the 'Ville,Thousands of students were feeling quite ill. The bowties were strewn on the floor with no care, And how did this Cane's sauce end up in my hair?! - Jesse Peterson, 2016. All rights reserved.
So, if the above poem didn't do a good enough job of conveying this, I'm hungover AF and I want to die. And I wouldn't have it any other way! Foxfield weekend really is the best time of the year! :)
Since I am 100 miles away from my kitchen and the thought of even moving out of my supine position sounds terrible, I thought it would be best if I wrote a post that didn't involve cooking or baking. Instead, I'll write about all of the things I ate/drank/funneled (oh god)/otherwise consumed yesterday!! Yay!
Having now attended five Foxfields, I'm pretty much an expert on every facet of the event. Want to know where to get a Foxfield dress? I'm your girl. Need tips on avoiding the wrath of the police? HMU, fam. Trying to avoid getting trampled by a horse? ...I may not be the right person to ask. Bad memories.
And, most importantly, I can help guide you towards the best food options at Foxfield. Below, find a DEFINITIVE ranking of the foods that you cannot miss on the big day. Are you ready? I don't think you're ready. Get ready.
I know what you're about to say - "Jesse, mimosas aren't a food! Are you high right now?!" And my response is a) maybe, yesterday was CRAY and b) who are you to tell me what I can and cannot call a food? I'm my own person and I create my own rules. (Also I evidently never left my angsty teenage phase. Where's my Mayday Parade album?)
The thing is, Foxfield starts at some ungodly hour like 9:30 AM. Thus, any reasonable pregame gets going at 7 AM or earlier. Maybe there are some people psychopaths out there who can get down with some shots before breakfast, but even typing that sentence made me want to vomit, so I try to avoid that route. Some champagne, however? With a splash of orange juice for color? SO on board. Slurp back a few (bottles' worth) of these babies, and you'll be ready for the races!
2. Fried Chicken
Now that your sufficiently sloshed, it's imperative to get something in your stomach! Don't want to get too drunk too quickly and miss all the horses and debauchery! And, nothing says 'hella drunk at 10 AM' like stuffing your face with fried chicken, right?
Charlottesville boasts a variety of fried chicken purveyors, but if you don't get Cane's you're doing it wrong. Why? THE SAUCE. Omg the sauce. It's like a thousand little angels combined a secret blend of a million spices with the finest mayonnaise money can buy, infused it with love and sunshine, and then sent it down to earth on a rainbow made of gold.
I have an active imagination.
And, as Thomas Jefferson himself once said, "the best things in life are stolen from other peoples' plots." So, roam free, friends! Find the chicken! Take the chicken! It's what God intended.
3. Bodo's Bagels
If there's one thing I learned from my high school health class (aside from the fact that my teacher had a weird fascination with drunk driving videos that featured uniformed cheerleaders), it's that carbs are a great way to soak up alcohol.
If there's one thing I learned from attending college in Charlottesville (aside from the fact that drinking games that involve hammers and stumps take fun to a new level), it's that the Bodo's Bagel is the nirvana of carbohydrates.
Bodo's is always there for you. When you've pulled an all-nighter and need to rally to make it to class? That fluffy, warm cloud of bagel is right there waiting. When you have exactly four dollars to your name? You can get a bagel (with egg!) for less than three! I don't know how we got so lucky, but I don't question it - only embrace it.
If your Foxfield pregame doesn't involve Bodo's, you're doing it wrong. Re-evaluate your life and friend group, then take a nice stroll over to the corner for a sesame bagel with jalapeno-lime cream cheese. You can thank me later.
4. Horse Cake
Disclaimer: This is not a cake made out of horses.
My second year at UVA, I was living large in the luxurious apartments at Grandmarc, complete with working oven and insanely ratchet hot tub that you should never use under any circumstances. #glorydays. My friend Jacqui and I decided at the eleventh hour that we should bake something for the AKPsi Foxfield plot. We hopped in Jacqui's car, sped to Harris Teeter, and loaded up on baking supplies.
Well, as often happens, baking 'something' turned into baking 'literally everything muahaha.' Blueberry lemon muffins, cookies, and - MOST IMPORTANTLY - a horse cake. Below is our wedding photo, cutting the horse cake. We had a lovely honeymoon in Crozet.
The cake was such a hit that we decided to make it an annual tradition! Also traditions: losing the plate I bring it in on, eating it with our hands, using it to lure attractive men to our plot. Why mess with a good thing?
I think working at a bakery MIGHT have made me SLIGHTLY BETTER at decorating cakes...?
So, there you have it! The top four foods that you should be sure to consume this Foxfield. Now, lace up your bowties, pull on your cowboy boots, and get your Advil ready! And maybe - just maybe - you'll be one of the lucky few to see a horse!